50 Shades of Crazy!
It’s 7 minutes to pickup time. I’m not sending her. When you read the following, I’m betting you’d make the same decision. Since last posting, a lot has happened. First of all, I got a new lawyer, which I believe was the right move. The last call to my previous lawyer, telling him my concerns about homeschooling with this person, and how my N-ex wouldn’t allow our daughter to participate in pre-school, ball, gymnastics, etc. on “his” time, and before I could even get out anything after “pre-school” he cut me off, saying “Well, preschool is different than school!” He was defending my ex! Well, that was the final straw! I”m not going to pay someone big bucks that is such a narcissist himself, he can’t see how raising a child with someone like this, nonetheless homeschooling with them, may be detrimental to a child!
So, after much searching, and calling, I finally found a new lawyer. I was immediately impressed that he actually seemed to listen to me and didn’t put me down. Sad that this seems to be the norm in law! My new lawyer listed some of my concerns in our modification for custody for school. I’m already impressed. He actually agrees that behavior like my ex’s isn’t normal.
We hadn’t even gotten a chance to serve the papers to my ex yet when our daughter said that Daddy touches her private area with his hand. It sounded like it was just for wiping and cleaning but she’s 5. I think it’s inappropriate. He still showers with her. He does cover up with a washcloth, but I don’t know how well that works! Our daughter says she’s seen under the washcloth before. I don’t THINK he’s doing anything with sexual intentions, but I called a therapist to talk to her, just to be sure.
Her regular therapist has mentioned recently that she can’t get anything out of our daughter, that she won’t say anything negative about her dad, even the usual stuff kids say. I figure, why not try someone new who may be able to get a little more out of her as to what’s bothering her, etc. and who may be able to help her a little more. So, I called my family therapist who recommended a few people to me. I called a few. Some were either not taking new clients or couldn’t see her without his permission. I asked him to call one, but he never did (as I figured). While I was talking to one of them who couldn’t see her, she was very concerned with the things our daughter was saying. She said she’d have to report it, unless I got right on it. I DID. But he didn’t call in to approve it. I’m assuming she’s the one who called it in to child protective services (CPS).
A few days later, I got a call from CPS in the county that I had sought out therapy for her. She asked me where I lived. She said a CPS worker from my county would be calling me. Sure enough, an hour or two later, the other CPS worker called. She asked if I had our daughter. I said, yes, until tomorrow, when she goes back. She asked if I could bring her in. I took her over right away as it was almost closing time.
She spilled her guts to that CPS worker. I was outside the door but could hear a lot of what she said. She told her all her grievances to that lady. She finally opened up! She told how he threatened her on Thanksgiving for saying that she wanted to be with me. He’d threatened to get rid of her kitten, fish and stuffed animals and toys and to tell them that she didn’t love them because I’d sent a text saying that she was excited to see her cousins on Thanksgiving.
The CPS worker was also concerned. Probably more-so than I was. As pickup was the next day, I debated over what to do. She told me the usual story: that if I sent her and something happened, I could be held accountable too. So, I debated, and debated. Finally, the next day, I decided to file the emergency protective order. I felt horrible, but what else could I do? This is my 50 shades of crazy-life.
See the next post http://torn-whybatteredwomenstay.com/?p=458