I ran in to an old acquaintance (we’ll call him “Jason”) a few days ago. He said, “I have something you’re going to like!”

“What’s that?” I said.

He went on to tell me the story.

A few weeks prior, a co-worker’s wife was going to start working at a local office. Turns out, it was my ex, John. Jason warned his co-worker what my ex is like but the man brushed it off with, “there’s two sides to every story.”

“True”, my friend said.

The woman worked there for two weeks. One week while John was there, and one week when he wasn’t. (He works only every other week.) She quit because she was tired of getting yelled at because she didn’t wash his cup good enough (this was a common complaint of his). However, before she left, he asked her to go get family pictures with him and his daughter. When Jason told me this, I assumed that he meant that he wanted the woman to go along and help him watch our daughter, who is now 6. That was stupid enough, but, no, his reasoning was something even more bizarre. He wanted her to go along to stand in as his wife! (Mind you, he has not even dated to my knowledge since we divorced) And the kicker was, Jason said that the woman resembled me quite a bit.

Why? I can’t figure it out. What’s he trying to pull? Our daughter brought up a lady’s name a few days ago and she said she was the lady that takes their family pictures. I took the opportunity to ask her if they’d had family pictures taken lately. They hadn’t… guess he’s still waiting to find another stand-in.