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After the Divorce, Co-Parenting with a Narcissist, My Story, Recent Posts, Why Battered Women Stay

Victory from Narcissistic Abuse and Co-Parenting

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Fast forward to the end…

Victory from narcissistic abuse and co-parenting at last! It was a cloudy day. Just as the judge read his verdict: that Avery’s father should have NO visitation or phone contact, the sun shone brightly through the clouds and the courthouse bells started playing, “Great is thy Faithfulness”. Seriously! This happened!

Victory from Narcissistic Abuse and Co-Parenting... feels like spring!
Victory from Narcissistic Abuse and Co-Parenting… feels like spring!

Now, back to the beginning of the story…

Her father had lost custody years ago. After possible sexual grooming and a freak-out-5-days where he (mis)quoted from the bible and tried to force her to stomp her beloved cats to death, to “get the evil out of her”,  (see “50 Shades of Crazy”) I filed the last protective order to keep her away from him and a guardian ad litem was assigned. I finally got the help I needed and the attention that her case deserved from there.

She was never alone with him (much) after that time. She was 6 years old. But, he still and always will fighting it, of course!

Her father went through dozens of lawyers. For one, he didn’t pay them. Secondly, once they found out what was going on, he would get rid of them when they wouldn’t do what he wanted them to do: go against their ethics.

To make a very long story as short as possible, the judge was sick of him. This was the second judge that we’d had, as our case was ongoing. The first judge left office and a new judge soon grew tired of him too. Our courthouse paperwork is probably the biggest ever seen in the county courthouse. The paperwork takes up multiple courthouse binders (and those things are a good 6″ thick or more). The GAL had to purchase a wheeling dolly to bring all of the most pertinent paperwork to court, and she didn’t bring ALL of it! The courthouse staff commented on our case, one saying that she had nightmares about it and my ex, as he had given her so much hassle. When I gave her our case number to retrieve a copy one day, she said, “Oh, I KNOW your number!”

This was a case that was unusual, to say the least. But, who’s (when dealing with someone with diagnosed NPD) isn’t?! I you are looking for victory from narcissistic abuse and co-parenting, I truly hope you can find some inspiration from our story! For the longer version of our story, see, “The Whold Story” coming soon.

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After the Divorce, Co-Parenting with a Narcissist, Recent Posts

50 Shades of Crazy!!!-Part 2

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50 Shades of Crazy
50 Shades of Crazy

The plot thickens… So I got the emergency protective order for our daughter. They were to serve it to him at the pick-up location. I felt bad for him. He comes to see his daughter only to find out that he doesn’t get visitation this time. Even this psychopath doesn’t deserve it to go down like this. I feel bad for him.

At the same time, I’m relieved. Our daughter is thrilled! She gives me a hug and says “Thanks Mommy!” We couldn’t even call because of the protective order. She hasn’t wet her pants once in all this time, as of now it’s been a month since she’s seen him. (She’s been wetting her pants 3 times the first day back, two the next day, and one the third day back pretty consistently for months. I didn’t notice the pattern for a while, sadly but I’m sure it was going on longer than I realized with such a strong pattern) I don’ t know what the wet pants means, other than a sign of stress or SOMETHING not being right. She says she wets her pants a LOT at Daddy’s. She says he doesn’t get mad at her though, which I’m thankful for.

Through the next week, more comes out. The initial concerns of our daughter’s: Daddy showering with her (at almost 6 yoa) and Daddy wiping her without toilet paper grew into a little more of a puzzle. While I don’t believe he is intentionally sexually abusing her, his inability to see her as a person, a growing girl, has obviously made her uncomfortable enough to sense that something isn’t right.

A few weeks before all of this, she had said something out of the blue. She said “I wish grandpa would get a gun and shoot Daddy!” That blew me away! Here’s my innocent, sweet little girl expressing such a strong, disturbing statement. I was hesitant to tell anyone, as I was afraid they’d think there was something wrong with her. I did tell her therapist. She was just happy that our daughter was finally expressing herself. She said it didn’t sound like her. I agreed. It was at this point that she mentioned that usually our daughter wouldn’t say ANYTHING negative about her Daddy, even the usual stuff kids say. Everyday stuff, like “Daddy makes me go to bed early.” or, “Daddy doesn’t let me eat enough candy.”After that session, I decided to once again try to find a different therapist. That’s what led me to talk to the therapist that ultimately reported to CPS.

During the following week, I decided I must tell his family. I was a little afraid to. I was afraid they’d think I’d accused him of this and reported it, but they know me better than that. I also hated to tell his mother. That’s a pretty awful thing to hear about your son. But, I told them. His mother stood by her original belief that her son should have supervised visits only. She asked me to get to the bottom of it and have our daughter talk to someone. I reassured her that I had and would continue to do so.

About this time, I’d told a friend what was going on. She shed interesting news that would make me rethink the whole situation!… (See Part 3 of 50 Shades of Crazy)

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